OK, so I finished the research book tonight, ahead of schedule (thankfully there was a whole huge chapter on how this phenomenon affects women, and since my character is male, I got to skip it), so all done.

I guess out of amusement I should note that I know the Giants are in the World Series and Jeremy doesn’t because he’s on a plane. Actually, the game started as I left work, three blocks from my office, with fireworks over the bay and blimps circling above.

And, as I was finishing the book, there was a moment whereby I just knew the Giants won. Now, I’m not claiming psychic ability or anything. It was muffled fireworks in the distance and a few people in adjacent apartments/houses all going crazy at the same time that tipped me off.

So, not too much to report tonight, since I was basically curled up with a book. Tomorrow, I jump in and write (after all this) the first chapter of the book. Go figure…

There is a delicious irony, I suppose. All of my previous writings were only first chapters. I would write something, introduce the characters, and just hone and hone and hone and hone, and it was prefect, but I bled the energy out of that rush of creativity so much, that I just never returned to the piece. I even joked with someone that there would be a posthumous book released called “Perfect First Chapters.”

When I wrote the first draft of the book, I did write the first chapter first, but I knew I wanted to play around with the character more in this draft, get inside his head. So, I wrote who he becomes before I wrote who he was, or who he is when we first meet him in the book.

Again, this might be useful, might not. It’s probably irrelevant, but I guess anything that keeps me writing and moving and thinking and breathing is good. All forward motion.

OK, this entry is going on too long, considering that it was just a reading night. If my mind wants to start writing, it will have to be content with sobconsciously readying itself for tomorrow. Not for my day job, of course, but when I return home to write the book.

Peace,

Jeff

My last bit of research has been moving too slowly. Whenever I’m on the subway/bus, it’s too packed to easily read. Or I forget to pack my book, etc., etc. Needless to say, whenever I can read, I don’t have the book on me, and vice versa.

So, today, my writing window was just curled up with the book. Probably more of the same tomorrow. We’re hitting the plot points where the research needs to affect the novel, so I need to knock it off already.

I am definitely seeing ways to make the writing of the second book go faster, which include:

– Research, more and more of it. I think I’m way late to the game reading research books mere days before I want to turn that around as a sublte point in the novel. I’m totally not giving myself enough time to digest and subconsciously chew on the research so that it just ebbs and flows through the character naturally. There will be another draft, though, so hopefully that will still occur.

– Character studies. In book two, I should write brief character sketches of every primary and secondary character prior to writing any of the book. First, this would get me past my hang-up on names because, as I’ve stated before, when I try and introduce a new character into the piece, and am not sure the arc of their story or merely their name, it just throws things into disarray. Second, I think it will result in a smoother flow because I think lack of planning makes itself apparent in a book, because out of nowhere it’s “Meet Sarah, who first joined the class to…” and there might be smoother ways to weave people into the fabric of the story if there were more forethought.

– More focused themes. I think it’s fine to want to do a satirical piece on a broad societal topic, but I think it’s too easy to mistake that for the theme of the book, when it eventually becomes more the plot of the book. The theme, depending on your perspective, is much smaller than the whole, although it will provide the emotional resonance which anchors everything else (which ultimately makes it larger than the topic). The topic is the canvas, the theme the one paint color that brings the picture together, the difference between doodles and art.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not entirely down on what I’m doing, and I think finding this stuff out now is great, because right now, the novel only exists on my hard drive. Everything can be changed and improved many times over.

This entry can also be used in two years by people reviewing the book as proof that even the author was aware of some of the flaws of the book. Although, knowing they are there should mean they won’t be when the book is released. Time will tell.

Jeff

Time to wrap up the writing today and go do more weekend stuff.

Like last week, I am doing the same Saturday plan. Early gym, first a.m. showing of a movie (Rules of Attraction this week, Red Dragon last), vegan BBQ, writing, and then a night event. Tonight, I see Bright Eyes in concert.

Anyway, I just did an edit on the chapter I’ve been doing all week, and I think it’s time to leave it and move on and do other things. It is now shorter, which is always the sign of a good edit for me. Longer means I’m still trying to nail what I want to say. Shorter means I’m refining and zapping out the scaffolding. I’m sure there is still scaffolding there, but it will hopefully be even more obvious and apparent when I have some distance from the piece.

Oh, scaffolding. That’s part of the class I took. Basically, the concept is that your brain works in a very linear fashion, in that you may have to write two sentences to connect the dots to a third sentence that you really love. Often time, the first two sentences aren’t needed, you just needed to put them up to get to where you could reach the third sentence. So, the first two sentences are scaffolding.

Well, I really should get cleaned up and head out to the show. I think the crowd for this is very, umm, enthusiastic, like a Dashboard Confessional show. So, I’m sure the line is already snaking around the block just so they can get closer to Conor. But, the venue is so ridiculously small, I’m fine if I end up standing in the very back. I was actually planning to go late, but apparently, it’s very loose, and all three bands kind of play together, so Conor will play with the opening band, they will end up showing up during his set, etc., so I figure I should get the whole experience. Just a folk night, so should be mellow. Only downside, it starts at 9, so we’ll see how early I force myself to get up tomorrow morning to keep my fragile ecosystem in balance.

Peace,

Jeff

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I was in bed right at 10 p.m., as I’m supposed to be, popped on Loveline to listen to sexually dysfunctional teenagers as I drift off into sleep, except… I heard the whole show. Afterward, still no sleep.

So, I turn the computer back on, do some e-mails, etc. I still have a dull headache, so I don’t make progress on the book, and I’m still half-awake/half-asleep enough to not be doing all that much.

I think I was awake until at least 2 (The Oasis front page was updated at 1:41 a.m., so there’s one definitive clue). So, I roll the alarm back from 6:15a to 7a, hoping to at least make it to the gym, which I did. Work is fine.

After work, I had planned to go to a special Red Hot Chile Pepper Dinner at my favorite veg restaurant, Millennium, and that was amazing, albeit very hot. I didn’t know my sinuses even needed clearing until I finished the starters (the red jalapeno on a stick with persimmon totally did me in, my mouth was on fire). So, that was great, but as per usual when my delicate ecosystem is disrupted, I am getting a bit tired and out of it tonight.

By the time I got home, I started editing the chapter, but I know I wasn’t giving it the focus it deserves. So, I just did some other nonsense instead.

My goal now is to go to bed, get up early so I can do my chest workout, and then go to work. Of course, Friday is the day I almost never write because I have a play opening. Oh well, getting back on schedule is the main motivation, since I’ll be writing most of the weekend, since my only other plans are a Bright Eyes concert on Saturday night.

Bed time, see ya’ll.

Jeff

Today got off to a slow start.

For whatever reason, I got a headache at work when I went out for lunch, and it pounded for most of the afternoon. I took two different generic remedies at work, but they just dulled it out, didn’t really make it go away.

By quitting time, it was nearly gone, but I didn’t want to tempt fate by blasting NIN into my ears. So, I wasn’t really in the zone when I got home. And I always felt that I was pretty close to bringing the headache back.

So, I started by editing the current chapter, figuring that by the time I hit where I left off, I would be ready to just continue. Thankfully, this chapter is getting rather long, so it worked.

The writing went slow, but it went. Words kept coming out and onto the screen and life was good. So, the big breakthrough chapter now has a first draft.

I’m sure it still needs a major cleanup, which will be tomorrow’s fun, but I do feel good about how it turned out. All told it is 20 pages, so it is also the longest chapter in the book, and I know it will just grow as it gets edited. Of course, it’s 20 double-spaced big point-sized pages. I’m not doing 10 point single spaced Courier here. I write too much in my day job to be squinting here all night.

It’s been a rather low-key night, can’t really think of anything anecdotal or interesting to flesh out today’s entry. So, I won’t try.

Tomorrow should be interesting, still debating going to a restaurant for a special meal, but it’s also refreshing, since it’s an editing night tomorrow. In my current mindset, not having to make white space into black letters is rather welcome.

Peace,

Jeff

Today was a fun day, no breakthroughs, no hurdles, just a lot of solid writing that flowed somewhat easily.

I started my writing night on the phone with Tom Spanbauer, who led the writing class I took in Portland in July. We have been going back and forth, initially because I sent him a letter to catch up, and he called me back, etc. He wanted to make sure I knew that the second part of the class was being taught this weekend. So, I wanted to tell him that, although I do intend to take it, I can’t take it now because I’m too busy writing that I don’t want to step out of that mode and think *about* writing.

He said that makes perfect sense, and that given how much I’m writing at present, he wouldn’t advise me any differently. I told him I just had a great Act II breakthrough recently, so we talked for a good 10 minutes about breakthroughs, and it turns out that we both do the same things, with the same results. We ignore the problem, but constantly have it churning in the back of our heads, and then all at once — whoosh! — it comes out fully realized and you don’t even know you had worked it out so completely.

The class should be offered again in the Spring, so we’ll see how that fits into my schedule. I plan to stay in touch with Tom either way, because there is so much I know I can learn from him.

Anyway, after Tom, I mainly just wrote. I knew what I wanted to write today, and it came out OK. Needs polishing, of course. Lots. And, in addition to said poishing, I know what I’m writing tomorrow, so I can start turning that over in the back of my head.

For the sake of isolating productive writing patterns, I did get 8 hours sleep last night. I also played NIN Downward Spiral on my Walkman on my way home and while shopping for groceries prior to writing. So, it was an uneventful day as far as any drama goes.

I came home from work, wrote, and know what tomorrow holds already. That’s mainly because this is a crucial chapter with several parts, each with escalating tension, so there is no getting into the mood, since the pace keeps getting faster, the tension higher, and it’s easy to get into that. Just read the previous entry and you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and pick right up where the other left off.

And, after work tomorrow, that’s just what I intend to do.

Peace,

Jeff

Note to self: Do not work out with trainer on Mondays.

Monday mornings are my most oft-missed gym window. It’s nearly a given that I will go after work, because I roll my bedtime back 90 minutes on the weekend (to 11:30). So, the first day back in is always a mess.

So, as I said yesterday, I was working out with my trainer this morning, and it *did* lead to me being more inclined to get out the door on time. Working out with my trainer at 7 a.m. means I have to be awake at 5:45, get myself together relatively quickly, and then walk 30 minutes to the gym. Everything according to plan. No problems.

Work day. Again, no issues.

Evening comes, and it hits me. I am totally drained and wiped out. I could go to bed now and fall asleep immediately. Most of my writing window has existed with me more interested in going to bed than writing. I did some editing, but I’m a little too out of it, so I don’t really want to make any serious edits, because I don’t trust my half-asleep mind to necessarily make it better, just change it for the sake of “progress.”

Normally, on a bad writing day, I would read my last research book, but again, all that woud mean is that I would fall asleep. Books aren’t good to keep me awake.

So, for the most part I’ve just been playing cleanup here. Sending belated e-mail replies to people since those don’t have to be perfect, just completed. My mother’s birthday gift is already ordered and will be sent to her two weeks ahead of her birthday. There is a note about “don’t open this until your birthday,” but I’m not sure where the note appears and whether she will see it before the wrapping is gone. I’ll have to let her know next weekend that her gift will arrive early.

I even popped onto the MLB site to see how Jeremy’s night was going. Bonds was just tagged out trying to steal second. I am not becoming more into sports. If anything, it just shows how messed up things are tonight.

I will probably go to bed at 9:30, just trying to stay awake that long. Only 32 more minutes. If I go to bed too early, then it will still impact my gym/work/writing schedule negatively. I need to whip myself right back into things for tomorrow.

The upside: I know what I want to write. There is no issue there. Tonight, sleep has just gotten the better of me. I should have went out to see a movie. I intentionally didn’t put a DVD on at home, because that would result in sleep.

OK, enough of beating this tired topic to death. Get it? Tired topic?

OK, I’m out of here.

Jeff

Today was a mild day, nothing as exciting as yesterday, since I mainly went through and cleaned up yesterday’s work for 2.5 hours.

The divinely inspired stuff is always interesting, but not always as clean and orderly. So, I went back through it today and did all the usual cleanup. Removed the passive tense, which continues to plague my first takes (possibly because the short story was told entirely from a vantage point in the future, looking back?)

In any event, it is now active, present tense. I got rid of a lot of the “I”s, still have to 86 more of them tomorrow. I also have a very clear notion of where the second half of this chapter is going, and Monday is histoically a bad writing day (hard getting up for the gym, work reappears, etc.), so after cleaning up, I didn’t start in on the second half. I figure it might be good to know where I’m going for tomorrow.

On the upside, I am working out with my trainer tomorrow morning, instead of Wednesday, as he is going out of town, so I don’t have to worry about getting out of bed, since I know he’ll be waiting there for me. So, the gym is locked in for the morning.

So, it’s just getting through the workday, bringing my “inspirational” music for the walk/ride home, and then diving right in. I don’t think I have any evening obligations all week, so hopefully it will all be progress on the novel every night.

Not much else happening, just going to finish the diary up early and go read another chapter of the book I’m reading for research. Interesting stuff, so I guess I should go do that now.

Peace,

Jeff

I didn’t do any of the writing I planned to do today, but that’s a good thing. The goal was to finish the chapter I did the other night, and I started to do that, until something else seemed to want to be heard.

I’ve already learned that you don’t put that feeling off when it comes. So, I open a blank Word document (always a frightening thing to look at), and a new tent pole for the second act of the book just sprouts up.

It isn’t too surprising it happened, as it has been something on my mind for days, or even weeks. If the protagonist does this thing, and then he has to do this other thing to kind of finish the book, something has to happen in the middle to make him drawn to doing the other thing. So, I just kept reviewing what was happening in the first part, and (subconsicously, I guess) debating how the initial thing would progress to a point where it just grew into something that would be a logical extension, but wholly different.

And, again, it is one of those times when text just comes out of you and you just try and get out of the way and keep up. It is both exhilirating and scary to think the best parts of your book are things you can’t create consciously. They just have to arrive on their own terms and timeline.

Thankfully, they give you a lot of work to do, knowing you get to build up to these moments, and come down off them.

Now, I’m not saying what came out today is a great, flawless piece of writing that doesn’t even need any work because it was given to me as a divine gift. I mean, I’ll say that on Oprah, sure, but in reality the gift is kind of a messy thing. Things I wrote before need to be revisited and ensure they logically build to this, things that will come after this (none of which are written yet) will have to come down off it and build toward the climax of the book.

But, I am more excited aobut writing this book with this new thing in it, so that’s a good thing.

Whew…

It’s been a tightly-packed productive day overall. More days like this and I’ll be a happy boy. Today started at the gym, of course, which made me wonder how many people can read lips. I was wondering about this because I was listening to Marilyn Manson’s debut album, “Portrait Of an American Family,” which has come, err, choice lyrics on it:

white trash, get down on your knees
time for cake and sodomy

And I lip sync along to the whole album, not to mention doing elliptical to the same furious pace, which lets me glide past 700 calories burned off for the workout. But, when I’m pantomining these rather randy lyrics, I was curious what someone who doesn’t know Marilyn Manson would think if they just read my lips and had to wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

Anyway, after the gym, I catch an early showing of Red Dragon, because I love Edward Norton and Hannibal, then I grab lunch at a lovely vegan grill (where I had corn on the cob, and some BBQ tempeh), and then just as it was supposed to occur on my schedule, I had 3 hours to write, and I didn’t even have to use them all, only used 2.5, giving me 30 minutes to crank this thing out.

And tonight, I am hopefully going to see Derik Cowan in a play. For you old-timers, Derik was an Oasis columnist from the very first issue, and he’s *finally* gotten himself in a stage production out here (or at least one where he’s not in drag). I’m not sure what it is, exactly, but I feel much better about going after making such progress on the novel.

So, time to go to Oakland! Catch ya’ll later.

Peace,

Jeff

Tonight was one of those good nights. The gym ended up being after work today, which sometimes cuts into my productivity, but not tonight. Throughout my cardio, I was playing NIN’ Downward Spiral and just getting myself nice and worked up and ready to write. 45 minutes and 704 calories later, I walked home still listening to NIN, popped the disc out of my Walkman to my stereo while I cooked dinner. Ate, and then dove into the chapter.

It was pretty much a sold two and half hours of writing tonight. But, it was one of those good nights where it doesn’t seem like you’re just clockwatching and seeing if you’re almost done yet. I can’t quite see what the rush would be, given that after writing, I go to bed, and then comes gym and work, which is a bad double feature.

I probably could have gone another 20 minutes or so, but it seemed like the piece still had some energy in it, so I wanted to leave it there, and not just wring it out doing edits and expansions.

This chapter tonight also went quick because I actually liked the version in the first draft, so I moved a lot of that over and just sweetened it up a bit. My normal pacing issues (slow it down! SLOWER!) weren’t an obstacle tonight, because this chapter is supposed to move quickly. It also features a journalist, so I ket to take a few potshots at my old profession.

So, not much to report tonight, I guess. I was supposed to write, I did. I was supposed to try and get into the mood prior to getting home, and I did and it worked. And, I have 13 pages in the second draft where barely nothing existed earlier this evening.

Not much to analyze tonight. So, I’ll call it quits.

Peace,

Jeff