No, not like that. I still plan to leave. But this week, it finally happened, as layoffs swept through Macromedia. In what seems to pass for the new corporate mindset, no one knows how many people were laid off, or from what teams, because I guess that would be bad for morale. Of course, not telling us stuff is just bad for productivity, as nearly every person on every team stops you and wants to get the scoop.
“Anyone laid off on your team?”
“Yeah, the person who did XXX. What about you?”
Our team got by with one layoff, my friend JoAnn, although I was really hoping it would be me.
I mean, saving my money is nice and all, but… I’d be just as happy finishing my book eating ramen and cashing my government unemployment checks.
I’ve even been especially ornery at work, because I knew they were coming. I wanted to try and be the perfect candidate for a layoff. The obvious one.
“We have to cut one person? Easy! Jeff!”
But, the problem with creating your own job that is not duplicated by anyone else on the team does have its downside, which is… if I get laid off, everything I do would most likely become a small burden for everyone, instead of laying off someone whose tasks can be more easily doled out, absorbed by the hivemind with less interference.
It will suck with Jo gone, though, as she was one of the last breaths of sanity there. Only one left. The rest are good, but they waver, some days they will complain, but the following day, any trashtalking of Macromedia just doesn’t fly. Jo was someone who knows that what we do isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. Now, I don’t want people to read this and think I’m making some blanket statement about technology is bad (which I do believe, in a lot of cases), but just that what I specifically do has little point. The majority of it is writing press releases, although a new level of delusion has been creeping in, except it is not delusion.
Basically, I feel like someone who used to work for Clinton having to perform my same job for Bush-Cheney.
“Can you write something about the Clean Air Act?”
“Sure. Umm, but this basically guts the EPA and relaxes safeguards about releasing dangerous pollutants into the air. Where’s the ‘clean’ part?”
“No, it has a rebate system and encourages businesses not to pollute through tax breaks.”
“But this company pays no taxes already.”
And on and on and on…
I guess what I’m saying is that I wish I worked somewhere where they just said, “This is messed up, but it is what we need to say because of X, Y, and Z.” Instead, it is what we get now with Bush, which is the same spooky message, but that only makes it worse because you get the sense he really believes what he’s saying. I guess I’d rather lie than be stupid, basically.
Trying to not be specific here, so that when this is published, I won’t have Macromedia freaking out about anything. Although, the amusing part is, my team is the one that will deal with it if there is somethig objectionable.
So, with my next paycheck (mid-March), I will be debt-free, and getting on a tight budget. The company stock has been on a slight uptick lately, and I’m curious as to whether I should start dumping stock. My lowest valued shares JUST started vesting this month, so I think I’m getting like 100 or so of them turning around regularly, and the yield now is like $8.50 per share, but figure $2 and change of each share goes to the government, so they can pay to teach straight people about the benefits of marriage.
I will be working with my stepfather on that, though, because if I am selling stock to hit my “I can quit” amount, I will need to know how much of that money is actually mine, and how much I’ll owe the government, because I want my savings to be free and clear of a HUGE tax hit next year, if possible.
Not much else happening, just a nice nervous energy about the book coming up. For a while, i thought I would publish a book on my deathbed entitled “20 Perfect First Chapters,” as I preferred tinkering with something and making it perfect, which is probably just a form of procrastination anyway, to actually finishing it.
But, can’t stop now, I want this sucker done. I want it in stores. I want my friends to read it. I want someone on Amazon to tell me how derivative and boring it is. Because there is no middle ground, you just have to hope the love outweights the hate. Or, that the sales outnumber the remainders, at least.