Salvation arrives
I am writing with great news. Today, Macromedia fired me.
I was planning to leave in February, but there is no longer a need to debate when I will be ready to leave financially and all of those other things. I’m gone now, never to return.
It’s time to turn a new corner and see what happens.
As my faithful readers both know, my plan to leave Macromedia began when I was on sabbatical. In six weeks of Thailand, I wrote a novel in the most relaxed, fluid environment possible. I would wake up, have breakfast, swim, write, swim, have lunch, read, write some more… and that is how the entire day rolled out.
Now, the takeaway wasn’t that I enjoy leisure. That wouldn’t be very surprising. The point was that I wrote an honest-to-goodness end-to-end novel. When I’m at work, I try to write, and it is a pained process because work is also end-to-end writing, and I can only write so much per day. Desire doesn’t seem to play a big part in the equation, writing a Macromedia press release or the novel I love both tap the same resource.
So, upon my return, my goal was to quit my job as soon as possible. Sadly, I was in no financial shape to do that. I had a LOT of credit card debt, which I was already in the process of paying down, and I wanted to save up enough that I could coast for a while, work on the novel, maybe get a part-time job, etc. Things were recently starting to line up to where I thought February was a very safe bet as to when I could leave. But, now, it’s over. No more. Good riddance.
Oddly enough, I spent today busy. I actually wrote stuff that will be used for nearly a month after I’ve been gone. Then, I was supposed to have a 1:30 p.m. one-on-one with my boss, which is our normal time to meet. I had spent the minutes before that wondering how to inflate what little I was doing into enough to make it sound good in the meeting, an ongoing weekly ritual.
When I got into the meeting, someone from HR was there, and I immediately knew things were going to go well in this meeting. My boss said it was my last day at Macromedia, and I immediately replied, “What took so long?”
He left me with the HR person who went through all of the forms, etc., that they needed to review with me, and within 15 minutes, I was at my desk, packing up what few things I needed (mainly this week’s organic produce and multivitamins), and walking home.
Before I left, I asked the HR person (who wasn’t following me out the door) if there were layoffs today or something. She said that my termination was “performance-related.” It was way more attitude-related than performance-related, but why quibble, she’s setting me free.
I don’t fit into the corporate culture. It isn’t my thing. I can’t get excited about it anymore. I hope never to return to it (aside from having a big publisher use me to try and make money, that’s OK). The energy is all bad there. I’m not bashing Macromedia in particular, I don’t like any corporations.
I always said it would be so much easier if I let myself get pulled in, drink the kool aid, think we’re changing the world. It would make the day go by so much easier. I’ve seen enough people who live on that side of things. I think they are delusional, but they seem a lot happier.
Because if you are on the other side of that fence, you just have eight hours of useless work that make you feel like you wasted your time at the end of the day. Keep on that downward spiral for five years, it makes you downright bitter. You resent everything you do for a living except get paid. It’s a horrible way to live, and you end up selling yourself for way too little in the process.
So, it’s finally over.
I’ve literally been unemployed for less than an hour right now, so I can’t offer too much insight into “what’s next?”
I do have a nice mound of cash for now. I’ll probably not work through the holidays, just because I don’t want any interruptions when I start writing the book, so best to save that for January. I don’t want to put it down, go to Pennsylvania for a while, and have to find my way back in again. Since I didn’t quit, there is unemployment, a Bush presidency, and way too many unemployed writers in San Francisco, which is a very good combination for me, as well.
I guess I can’t say what the future holds just yet. But it just got a lot more optimistic and positive.
November 16th, 2004 at 3:22 pm
Congratulations!!! This has been so long in the making, hasn’t it? I wish you the best of everything in your newfound freedom!
November 16th, 2004 at 3:45 pm
Congratulations! I don’t know you, I just came over from Dave Winer’s link, but being in a soul sucking treading water job myself, I know exactly how you feel!
Go out and celebrate!
November 16th, 2004 at 4:39 pm
Good luck with the writing. I too came from Winer’s link.
November 16th, 2004 at 5:07 pm
This is why I am PROUD to know all the Torrent Trackers I am on have ALL the LATEST Macromedia Products available! I will SEED for 48 hours in your HONOR!
With Every Pirated copy I see online, I will think of your story.
November 16th, 2004 at 5:35 pm
this story is particularly amusing to me because i left adobe about two years ago for the same reason. now i spend 70 hours a week working on politics and loving (nearly) every minute of it. good for you, congratulations, and enjoy enjoying your life.
November 16th, 2004 at 6:39 pm
I always said it would be so much easier if I let myself get pulled in, drink the kool aid, think we’re changing the world.
gravity always wins (via Scripting News)
November 16th, 2004 at 6:44 pm
One more here from Winers page.
1. Good luck!
2. You won’t need it; you have good attitude.
3. If #2 doesn’t work, see #1.
The Thai story looks like it was worth the price of admission. Someone who enjoys such things is not destined for happiness in the corporate quagmire.
Good Luck!
November 16th, 2004 at 6:57 pm
I like boobies. (o Y o)
November 16th, 2004 at 6:58 pm
Congrats?
Via Dave: “At 1:30PM Pacific, Macromedia finally came to its senses and fired me.”…
November 16th, 2004 at 7:31 pm
Congratulations on losing your job!
November 16th, 2004 at 10:55 pm
Yay! Two years off from Quark and I still wasn’t missing it. Thinking I was burnt out on the publishing biz, I switched to medical and got a job for another corporation in June. It lasted until last month. Welcome to the club, old friend!
November 17th, 2004 at 12:37 am
Ummm…. What do I say? Congratulations ummm….. Hope everything will be going well for you in the publishing business, it’s not a bed of roses either, but you’ll tough it out.
November 17th, 2004 at 6:30 am
“I always said it would be so much easier if I let myself get pulled in, drink the kool aid, think we’re changing the world. It would make the day go by so much easier. I’ve seen enough people who live on that side of things. I think they are delusional, but they seem a lot happier.”
hey, you know, it’s always much harder to be awake than to just keep on dreaming… congrats to you. that was, in its own way, an inspiring post.
November 17th, 2004 at 8:20 am
I look forward to the novel, don’t let it become a J O B too though.
November 18th, 2004 at 6:26 pm
The energy is all bad there.
Don’t I know it. I admire your positive approach.
I went through a similar scene end of May this year, although mine was more anticipated, having basically sided with the government customer against my contract holder-employer in an e-mail I sweated over the night previous. I should have never gone back to aerospace, which is what that was, but your phrase I stole as a title to this describes the situation perfectly.
So I’m off seeking a way for myself with a couple of clients. It’s not full headway yet, and it’s easy to get down on yourself. But, then, there’s no delusion at all but that which you create for yourself.
And that’s something.
I’m wondering, judging from the few TV shows I occasionally watch, whether being an unquestioning extension of your boss’ physique isn’t becoming the accepted norm of the ideal employee.
That’s discouraging.
As is the widely held opinion that doing what anyone else would do is the highest practical moral standard. Dunno. Maybe it was always that way.
December 17th, 2004 at 12:15 am
“Today, Macromedia fired me”
Jeff Walsh: Salvation arrives I am writing with great news. Today, Macromedia fired me. Always an interesting way to start a blog entry…
December 18th, 2004 at 4:35 pm
“Because if you are on the other side of that fence, you just have eight hours of useless work that make you feel like you wasted your time at the end of the day. Keep on that downward spiral for five years, it makes you downright bitter. You resent everything you do for a living except get paid. It’s a horrible way to live, and you end up selling yourself for way too little in the process.”
Thats where I’m at right now also…and at this point I’m starting to resent the money too!
Congradulations!
September 15th, 2005 at 11:41 am
good work. i like your site. extensive methods for this: http://www.joebridge.com/blog/index.php?p=31 , bring heavy cream just to a boil