Randomness…
Not much going on lately. I’ve been very lazy, not doing much but cooking, working out, reading, and sleeping… I have interest in going out and doing more things but nothing really pulling me out to do it. That said, I am rather contented with it all. It isn’t a depression or anxiety or anything that could be inferred by my activities or lack thereof.
Cooked like three new dishes this week, just to spark some interest in food and get me out of my recipe rut. Invented a new dish this afternoon (if you call putting a bunch of latin cuisine staples and spices in a pot and stirring an invention) that was rather tasty and will have to join the repertoire. Been avoiding soy this week, just because I felt I was eating too much lately, so a lot more grains and veggies. Liking it so far. Only soy exception is meatless meatballs with my spaghetti, which really is the only way I enjoy pasta. (Coincidentally, a few days after I started this, Dr. McDougall issued his monthly newsletter, which suggested people limit their soy intake, so I guess I’m ahead of the curve.)
On the book front, I am editing the book-within-a-book and then won’t look at the whole she-bang until after Pride. Technically, I will be ready (per the Stephen King six week rule) in mid-June, but I will be in Texas at that point and returning home a few days before gay pride, so basically the major book merge and editing will begin in earnest as soon as pride ends.
Ordered some new clothes from gap.com (as my credit card rewards program earned me a gift card), so will be nice to get more stuff in my new sizes. Still unsure how to lose weight mentally, or if that is just a case of time reinforcing physical reality.
Hopefully getting a Thai massage this week, which has been the planned reward for being under-200 pounds. Makes more sense than celebrating with, say, german chocolate cake. 
Starting an apartment-improvement project this week, so that will take some time and energy. Been a while since I’ve done such a thing, though, so will be interesting to get into that groove again.
I think I’m becoming a fitness nut (or just a nut). In two weeks, there is the Bay to Breakers race/walk here and I have done it in the past. But this year, since I only walk and not run, it doesn’t seem like it is enough of a workout (despite it being like 9 miles or something), so I am debating either skipping it altogether or going to the gym to do my real workout beforehand. If I don’t sweat, I don’t seem to count it as exercise.
Writing Chuck Palahniuk a letter ASAP this week to see if he is still up for reviewing a draft of the book this summer. He offered at one point when I did the interview with him, but that was a while ago, and probably just a nicety (as I’m sure most people who say they are writing a novel never follow through an actually do it. Hell, look how long I’ve been saying I’m doing it before it really happened). I expect he will politely decline, but he is planning to put out a how-to book on minimalism in 2006, so perhaps it will be a good hook in that regard. He did give me his PO Box to send him the draft and all, so no harm in asking him to recommit. He’s coming through here on tour later this month, so figure it is better to send the letter first, put the face to the letter when he comes through town, and then hit him with the draft if he’s interested quickly thereafter. Just need to know where everything stands now as things get closer.
Tomorrow is supposed to be nice and warm, so I’m thinking of heading to the beach. Mainly out of duty, as whenever I was going into work on a beautiful day, it bothered me that people without jobs could go to the beach, so it seems now that it is an option, I should be following through and doing it. Just get a little sun… relax. We’ll see.
Oh, yeah, saw Nine Inch Nails and Tori Amos this past week, but sold my Weezer ticket since their new album didn’t do all that much for me. Tori was good, but I always feel like I can never love her enough when surrounded by her ardent fans. Jeremy and I got last-minute aisle seats, and I joked with him that they were perfect, as being too close to Tori at an acoustic show can be "creepy," since she’ll just stare you down too much. I think the Toriphile next to me heard that, so it was off to a bad start right away. She did play a lot of songs I liked, but there were also a lot of long, cloying songs. Basically, every piano-based song was amazing, but every other keyboard she had tended to drag out the songs more. And, I don’t think I will ever just accept all of her overly-emphasized breathing histrionics into the microphone. But, every time I see Tori live, she falls into the concert category of people I really think I should be listening to more of their CDs more often… and then never do (See: REM, Pearl Jam)
Nine Inch Nails, however, restored my faith that I am not in a miserable funk that nothing can pierce. After being iffy on the U2 show, I really thought I was viewing everything through a filter that gave it less resonance that prevented me from connecting with it on am amazing level. Nine Inch Nails showed me that was untrue.
I have been a huge NIN fan for years. I think I saw eight or nine shows on the Downward Spiral tour, although most of them, admittedly, were in attempt to interview Trent for OUT Magazine. He notoriously made the press follow him around for a while, always at the ready for an interview that he would never tend to give. The upside is you get to see a lot of shows, hear apologies from his PR people, and be forced to interact with his opening act as a consolation prize, which rocked, since Marilyn Manson was opening for him then.
Anyway, I already downloaded With Teeth in advance over the Internets, much to the dislike of the RIAA, but I would hate to see NIN live and not know what the hell he was playing. Turns out, it was largely unnecessary, as he only played a few tracks from it, unlike U2 which played the majority of its new album live.
This time out, Trent is clean and sober, and he seemed to be in good spirits, which could spell disaster considering his lyrical content. But, his sobriety seems to have no effect on his ability to seek catharsis (whether real or onstage theatrics) live in concert. He played a solid set mixing a lot of great songs off of every album, going from beginning through to Head Like A Hole with no encores. He also did an amzing acoustic piano version of "Hurt" that became an unlikely yet amazing sing-along for the sold out crowd on the tour’s opening night.
I don’t explore why I like what I do. I am not the type of person to dig deep into lyrics or books. I may even know all of the lyrics, but never analyze them. I like keeping one step removed from things and experience them emotionally rather than analytically. That said, I do not know what it is about Trent that makes me connect to him and his music. It is just a vibe. Part of me doesn’t really want to know what it is. Not out of fear, but just because I don’t think that knowledge would allow me to experience a "feeling" from the music, it would become more os a response to the music.
Similarly, when I read the Nabokov MFA books (and I’m starting the Dickens this week), it isn’t about dissection. I am reading them because they are classic books, and books stand the test of time for a reason. When I think back on Mansfield Park, there is no outright lesson I’ve learned, but I would like to think my writing will improve by having read it. Again, like how I experience my music, I want that to exist on a subconscious level.
However, the book I am now reading (Interview with the Vampire) is raising a lot of questions for me. I think a large part of it is that I enjoy the story, but really dislike how it is told. First of all, the entire set-up for me rings false. The entire "interview" seems a forced framing device. The interviewer is adding nothing but a reason for the vampire to keep going on about his story. It is also the longest book of direct quoting I have ever read in my life, given it is all the vampire talking into the interviewer’s tape recorder, largely without any prompting from the interviewer.
I can’t stop wondering why it was written this way. I mean, no book has a "reason" it is being told, so why do we need this "interview" to exist for the vampire to tell his story? Why not "Confessions of a Vampire" and just have him tell a first-person story directly to the reader? It just seems I am constantly being pulled out of a more interesting story for the sake of a needless framing device.
People have said the writing can also be amateurish and cloying in this book but, while I can see examples that would lead people to this conclusion, there is enough meat in the story to overlook some sloppy language for me. There is a whole, detailed world here that is worthy of exploration.
It also seems that, had the book been written following a more minimalist, first-person style, it would be more intimate and experiential. As it stands now, we remain outside the story as readers, rarely inhabiting Louis and seeing his world as richly as it seems we could.
But hell, who knows how people might rip my book apart once it comes out. I guess the point here is that sometimes, I can’t help but to dissect some pieces of art, while letting others slide. It probably has to do more with Rice doing things I am trying to specifically avoid in my own writing, so they leap out at me as obvious, which is a good sign.
Hmm, once again, it seems to happen that when I start a blog entry, wondering why I am even bothering, as I have nothing to write about, they tend to become some of my longer entries. Go figure.
