Delayed Realization…
Today was a further study of the overintellectualization of the process, insomuch as whether you should know the personal subtext of what you are writing whilest in the midst of the process.
So, you always hear writers say that they were writing their stories, and not until much further into the editing process or, in extreme examples, after it was published, did they realize they were writing about a personal issue in their life albeit through the veil of their ficitonal metaphor.
I’ve been hung up on the current chapter for a while now. Again, I hasten to call it writer’s block, in that I know what needs to be done. The chapter was always a simple one, the last chapter of Part One (assuming the parts survive, which I doubt at present). It was always, I’m ashamed to say, sort of a nothing chapter, albeit necessary. And it was the last chapter before the "meat" of the story kicks in…
I’m not certain what happened, but in the last week or so, this chapter has become hugely important. Part of it was realizing that it was the last chance to get the reader behind the protagonist, because the story opens up a lot after this point. And that is a fine thing to be aware of when writing. I don’t ever think it is negative to think of this story as something that will eventually be read. That is, after all, the point.
But a little too much staring, and then the personal and emotional resonance of this "nothing chapter" started kicking in. This is, after all, the chapter where the character hits his goal weight. Where he puts his past behind him and starts foraging forward for his new identity.
Needless to say, it is the closest part of the book where my story and the characters intersect, not to mention the closest at which they are intersecting in real-time, as the character is slightly ahead of me in hitting his goal weight. In short, it is the closest to a real-time snapshot of my life as the book is likely to offer.
Which means the "nothing chapter" has taken on huge significance. I want it to be perfect, to perfectly encapsulate where I am right now, because there is a seemingly universal quality to this chapter. At least in the sense that it is the closest overlap that exists in the entire book between myself and the protagonist.
It is also telling that whenever there has been something that I’ve written off as "necessary filler," it has caused the greatest delay because, well, there shouldn’t be filler in the book. If there is something that needs to be conveyed to the reader at this point in the book, there has to be a way to say it that is engaging and interesting.
The chapter is slowly congealing mentally, and I know it will happen soon. I don’t know if it is possible to write ahead of knowing the personal connection as far as something this on the nose, but as a mental exercise, i certainly like to think so.
(On top of everything, I had a hard drive crash, so today is all about recovering files. The novel is backed up nightly, so no worries there, really, just trying to get the system all back in order, so that distraction can go away)
