Bikram, Day 30
Well, I did it. Not that it’s really all that shocking. Doing anything is simple, because it only takes one thought: do it. Not doing something takes multiple thoughts/actions. So, the impressive part isn’t the yoga, it will be reducing the barriers on other things using yoga as the teacher.
That said, my intention is to write a similar post here in another 30 days, saying how there was really no issue about hitting 60 days, because I just don’t allow thoughts of not doing yoga in.
For example, today I had a… well, I was going to say busy, but that would be funny compared to people who really stay busy. In any event, I had two things on my calendar, in Berkeley, that precluded an easy yoga time. If I went to the 6:15 a.m. class, I could come home and sleep a bit before heading to Berkeley in time for noon. If I went at 9 a.m., the class ends a bit after 10:30a, by the time I get home its 11a, and showering and leaving to get to berkeley, can’t be there for noon. Noon class is obviously out. It would cost another $6.50 to do a roundtrip back to SF to catch the 4:30 class, and then it’s tight to get back for the event at 7 p.m. And that’s all the classes there are. And I certainly didn’t want to screw up day 30, of all days. So, I eventually figured out that I could do the 9 a.m. class, shower there, and go directly to Berkeley from yoga. Just had to let the studio people approve my leaving stuff locked up there overnight, so right now, in a locker in a yoga studio in the Mission, some sweaty nasty clothes have been festering all day. 
But, it was never a question of not going. Just figuring out how.
It’s strange, because I know I’m improving in yoga due to my lack of progress. Poses I used to do easier and incorrectly, I fix them. My biggest problem areas, although I really don’t like to think of it in those terms, since doing every pose to the best of your ability is the practice. There is nothing else. Wanting to improve is wasted thought, because improvement is a natural part of continuing, but not essential to it occurring.
So, I interviewed a guy for Oasis at noon, and had time to kill thanks to yoga being done. I brought magazines and stuff, thinking I’d have a nice sunny day to lay out on the campus grass, but it was kind of overcast and cold. So I went to see Grindhouse, since I love Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. And, as much as it was stylized and all, I’m just really turning off of violent things. When I saw Turistas and Saw III, it was the same thing, I just felt it was violence for the sake of violence, and I’d rather focus my energies elsewhere. Rodriguez had a zombie movie, with Tarantino having Kurt Russell as a guy who likes violently killing women with his car. Part of the problem is I’m not really into cult movies, so an homage to classic conventions of these doesn’t quite matter to me. You could tell they had a ball making this stuff, though. Also, with a double feature and filler, it was a bit too long, bumping up tight against my night event. Turns out it was not as crowded as i expected, so easy to get a decent seat.
On my way home, I stopped in at Dragon for about 90 minutes, I think. Saw some friends, danced, drank water. Fun, but I like to leave before the mood shifts around 1 a.m. When people start drinking faster if they don’t think they’ve had enough, start worrying if they wanted to not go home alone, all of which gets even worse at last call.
One strange thing about yoga is that you can’t eat 2 hours prior, so I was a bit hungry when I got home tonight, and I intend to go to 9 a.m. yoga. As there is little chance I’ll get up before 7, that means I wouldn’t be able to eat until around 11, and if I’m already a little hungry now… so, I heated up some food. It seems strange, but the amount of time I’m fasting is about the same, just shifting it past when I’ll wake up. Yoga bag’s already packed, alarm is set, so it’s not a question mark as to whether I’ll actually follow through. As far as I’m concerned, it’s as good as happened.
May 11th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Hi. My name is Eve. I came across your BLOG tonight while “googling” Wayne Dyer and Bikram Yoga. I read through some of your posts and found it interesting how similar a spot we are seemingly in in our lives. I am in the middle of a major shift in my world and your day to day updates were really motivating.
I’m an artist. I went to design school in LA and Paris and worked as an Art Director for a big animation studio in LA (not Disney thank God) for years. My husband was born and raised in SF. He worked for a soul-less financial institution up until about 3 weeks ago when he quit and we drove across country in search of a new life. He bartended his was through college and I have huge fantasies about working as a waitress and coming home every night, as you said, “sore” from doing actual physical labor all day, Something other than navigating the polital cubicals at the office and sitting in front of a computer.
We lived in Ventura County in a little house tucked up in the Santa Monica mountains. We have two small children now and I stay home with them. My husband worked from home, so life was pretty good. Then, in January, after 15 years with his company, they gave us 3 days notice and moved him back up to San Francisco. This would be fine if (despite Ivy league education and 25 years in the business) we had a hope in hell of ever being able to afford more than bus fare in the Bay Area. We have a 7 and 4 year old now. We barely had any quality of life as it was living in CA. This was like being thrown from the frying pan into the fire. So, we sold our house, shipped the kids to my parents back east with our furniture, I drove up to SF to pick him up, he quit his job, and we drove across the country with the dog in our little Honda accord with 123,000 miles on it, to find a new, different, and hopefully better, life.
We landed in Raleigh, North Carolina. We’ve been here for 21 days. It’s incredibly green, lush, gorgeous, and has all the practical things…incredible job growth, affordable and beautiful housing, mild weather and it’s really clean, safe and seems fairly liberal, but truth be told, I’m a city person and this place is not a city. The problem is, it’s not a small charming town either, and I am starting to panic. I was getting very nostalgic for the city reading your blog.
Before we were thrust into this very fast and rushing river, I was working as a writer on a children’s television show and several environmental sculptures. Now I’m living in an Extended Stay hotel with our 4 year old and the dog and in escrow on a house I am not particularly fond of. Oh, it’s beautiful, but it’s really formal and brick and I wanted charming quirky. Good luck. I’m a big Wayne Dyer fan. We actually downloaded and listened to his podcasts all the way across the country. (It was either that or Evangelical Christian pastors preaching fire and brimstone on the radio) I was trying to manifest a charming, quirky house! I don’t know what happened. I guess I’m not a very good manifester. Love that JAPA meditation CD though. When I do it right, I feel like I’m floating.
The reason I stumbled on your website is because I am searching for that complete “paradigm” shift in my life. I bought myself a yoga mat tonight and am headed to my first Bikram Yoga class tomorrow morning. But what about the sweating. I’m worried about the heat. Don’t you feel like you’re going to pass out? I was inspired by your day to day updates. The last time I did yoga, I hated it. I was a lot younger and, I don’t know, it felt too “slow” for me at the time. But now I’m 40. I’ve had two kids and everything hurts. Especially my knees. I’m hoping I will be able to keep this up and that it will help me to center myself again. To find balance in my body and mind. I refuse to watch tv (and after working in children’s programming, we don’t let our kids watch it either) so our life is a little “slower” compared to most people’s anyway, but, sometimes it just seems to spin and I really want to stick with this - no matter what. I’m looking for a complete shift in my life and if I don’t do something, I think I’ll go nuts here.
Well, I’m certain I’ve just wated a good twenty minutes of your time today but thanks for reading and I’d love to hear any more feedback you have on how this is working for you. And the heat…I’m not overweight or anything, but God, am I out of shape. We closed escrow on our house in March so I’ve been living out of hotels and eating crap for months now. I’ve never felt worse and I’m not good at just letting my life slip away from me, feeling like I don’t have the pwer to change what I don’t like. But that first step, it’s the hardest. That class is at 8am tomorrow, so I’d better get to bed. Thanks. Eve